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Portola Pilot

The student news site of Portola High School

Portola Pilot

The student news site of Portola High School

Portola Pilot

A Halloween Hierarchy: ‘Unwrapping’ the Best and Worst Spooky Season Treats

Under+the+moon%E2%80%99s+glow+every+Halloween%2C+children+fill+the+streets+in+their+venture+to+pack+their+trick-or-treat+baskets+to+the+brim.+Within+every+bag+lies+clear+winners+%28and+losers%29%2C+each+candy+a+sentimental+link+to+our+favorite+memories+or+stark+reminder+that+our+taste+buds+will+be+left+disappointed.+
Ruhi Samudra
Under the moon’s glow every Halloween, children fill the streets in their venture to pack their trick-or-treat baskets to the brim. Within every bag lies clear winners (and losers), each candy a sentimental link to our favorite memories or stark reminder that our taste buds will be left disappointed.

10. Butterfingers

The only remarkable thing about Butterfingers is that they somehow always manage to taste like they have been sitting in the back of someone’s pantry since last year’s Halloween. Inside the obnoxious neon-yellow wrapper lies a chocolate filled with dry, flaky, harder-than-a-rock peanut butter. With a high chance of chipping your tooth after just one bite, eat at your own risk.

9. Tootsie Rolls 

Tootsie Rolls are one of the few candies that trump jawbreakers for the jaw strength required to get through a single piece. Sure, they bring back nostalgia from second grade, but everything about this candy — from its deformed shape to its complete absence of chocolate flavor — proves more of a ruthless trick than treat.

8. Dots 

Imagine someone picked a piece of gum off the floor and melded it into the shape of a gumdrop. Their creation would come pretty close to Dots, except Dots are even stickier and artificial-tasting. Feel free to try one if you want to spend the rest of the night brushing your teeth instead of trick-or-treating. 

7. Laffy Taffy 

This refreshing escape from the sometimes inexorable chocolate norm provides one good thing and one good thing only: the dad joke on the wrapper. Let us be real, no one goes out of their way to overindulge in a mildly flavored candy that melts into its plastic wrapper.

6. Blow Pops 

These two-in-one lollipops are a quintessential part of every happy childhood. Savor the lollipop until the thinnest layer of crispy sugar goodness remains, then crunch down. The fruity burst of candy-infused gum is the perfect second treat … but only for two minutes before it quickly runs dry of flavor.

5. Nerds 

Feeling a bit low on energy as you trick-or-treat through the night? Open up a box of Nerds to find brightly-colored pebbles filled with bursts of flavor, plus a satisfying crunch. And no, they are not just for nerds.

4. M&Ms 

These treats have nailed the perfect ratio of candy coating to chocolate filling, leaving a delicious taste as they melt in your mouth. The only thing to beware of is that once you start eating, you may never stop.

3. Sour Patch Kids 

They’re sour. They’re sweet. They’re for everyone. What more is there to say?   

2. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Miniatures 

This chocolate provides the ultimate combination: smooth, creamy peanut butter encased in an iconically ridged layer of milk chocolate. This contrast between the sweet chocolate and salty peanut butter makes these ideal, bite-sized cups one of the best Halloween treats.

1. Fun Size Left Twix 

The pinnacle of perfection. Anyone who disagrees hasn’t experienced life to the fullest. With velvety caramel and rich milk chocolate enveloping an impeccably crisp golden cookie, Twix leaves the most satisfying taste to ever melt on your tongue. Left Twix — unlike its poison-tasting Right counterpart — really is the ultimate testament to the Halloween candy gods.

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About the Contributors
Ruhi Samudra, Sports Editor
Ruhi Samudra is the Sports Editor for her second year on the Portola Pilot. She’s looking forward to being her best social butterfly self this year and getting to know all sorts of people on campus. When she’s not counting the days until she can cover a game again (yay sports!), you can find her obsessing over her purple dinosaur, inhaling all of the cereal-scented candles at Target, or investing her entire life into memoirs just to avoid accepting her own bewilderment.
Parmin Zamani, News Editor
Parmin Zamani is the News Editor for her second year on the Portola Pilot. She’s really looking forward to working with all the new staff members and unearthing all the interesting news on campus. When she’s not struggling with InDesign, you can find her studying at a café, listening to the Weeknd (most likely the House of Balloons mixtape!), or debating whether to spend money on yet another cup of coffee.
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